Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil., "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bill Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," said Bill Clinton, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Bill Clinton.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bill Clinton saw Osama bin Laden, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bill Clinton took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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